dream, job, lifestyle, Uncategorized


The week was full of fun. People, places, pleasures… Glamorous life of a young celebrity is everybody’s dream you would think, but she wasn’t really impressed by gifts and flowers her wannabe boyfriends showered her with. Watching the sun goes down and daydreaming of an empty city guarded by stray dogs and friendly crows has become her hobby. The sound of silence was her favorite thing after all the rehearsals and music lessons she was required to take. Language and art classes were optional so she could enjoy them a bit more.

Some days flying first class was like a second job for her, she grew to hate it so fast. Schedules and itineraries were always in the way as if someone or something else owned her life. When will I start living for real? – she would ask herself time and again. Most folks would do anything to have the luxury of being famous, rich and beautiful. But she had another dream…

What a weird world we live in! People only want what they can’t have. If they are single they try to get married, if they are married they want a divorce. In the crowd we always seek for privacy and staying home alone inspires the need to go out. Contradictory human nature is there to challenge and make us miserable. In winter we want sunny warm days and in a hot season we are dreaming of snow and frost.

It was a middle of December, two years since she became a star. Holiday season with all its charm was in full swing, the time to make wishes and wait for miracles to happen. Suzy was hoping to run away from her successful career in show business and become a world traveler, hitch hiker and camper. No schedules, no flights, no obligations… Sweet, sweet dreams to be living a simple life of a nobody.

experience, job, learning, Uncategorized

Skills so much needed

When you start every day wondering what skill you will have to learn today it doesn’t sound like a dream job but maybe this is what it is. Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone is not a walk in the park and definitely not a piece of cake for all I know.  While the school is almost over and the freedom that summer brings is so near you keep asking yourself Am I ever going to graduate? School of life is a bit tricky, it makes you learn a new lesson when you feel that you are done, finished and ready to face the challenges.

So much to live, so much to learn. Isn’t it frustrating and inspiring at the same time? Ambiguity of this question brings us closer to philosophers and thinkers that devoted so much time to discover the truth trying answer all the Why – questions.

What skills do you have to survive or what skills do you think you have? Recently I learned that my arsenal is not big enough, it’s a steep learning curve for sure but the good news is it’s never too late to learn.

immigration, job, Uncategorized

Doing the right thing

Why is leaving your comfort zone so damn hard? job, home or your gadget… They say that this is what we need for growth. Doing the right thing is tough even when you know exactly what it is, emotions are always in the way and I have no idea how to cope with them.

Life gets absurd because this what we make it. So many attachments to useless things, I wish I could change it. How often do you ask yourself  what really matters, setting priorities, putting important stuff first? I can tell quite honestly I don’t do it often enough. To do that you have to be smart and strong and most of us want to be weak and blonde.

Someone says the first forty years of childhood are the hardest. I totally agree with that. I feel like I am still six years old looking at the world with my eyes wide open.  This is something about me you either love or hate, can you pretend well enough to be someone else leaving your true self behind?

job, Uncategorized

Just TRY

While substitute teaching I meet all kind of people, it’s a new class and a new location every day. My colleagues are all kind of folks, some of them are young and broke, others are established professionals with money and families. But we are all in the same boat, no one has any clue what they want to do next. It’s kind of sad lots of us still think we have no choice, it’s not true unless you believe it. Fear is the greatest moving force in peoples’ life and it is not okay. Most of the things we do we do out of fear, there are exceptions of course and if this is the case I am truly happy for you.

Some of us get a job just for the sake of getting a job, just because we need to pay rent and buy groceries. I understand that, we can’t all live under the bridge eating free food offered. But on the other hand, five years down the road we still work the job we hate to make a paycheck, feeling miserable most of the time, getting ridiculously drunk every Friday night to escape the sad reality. Let’s face it, we all have to make it work somehow. It’s okay if you tried and failed, maybe you tried multiple times and still failed. But if you never even tried to make YOUR life better… You should start today!

job, Uncategorized


Finding a job of your dream is not easy but you have to try. If you think about it on average we spend a third of our lives at work, let alone those guys who easily spend a half. For an obvious reason most of them hate it so much they can’t express, at this point I usually ask myself, Do I want to be one of them?

So far my job search wasn’t as successful as I wanted it to be but I have learned a lot while doing it. I asked many people for advice and some of them suggested I should lie. I don’t think it’s really effective since one has to remember all the lies they ever said or wrote. I have pretty good memory I have to admit but nothing like remembering every single story I ever made up to keep a conversation going.

So lying does not really work for me. But you can argue saying, it’s just a make-believe, not even that but a slight exaggeration or understatement.  You can go with that as long as you are comfortable. We all approach things differently and it’s fine.

I am pretty optimistic about it all though, I know there is someone wanting to hire a qualified and honest person who is also an immigrant willing to make it work no matter what.

job, Uncategorized

High Hopes

When I came back to Colorado the hospital was already waiting for me, clerical position in a primary care clinic. I aced the interview and all kind of checks. I was ready for new life to begin.

The job turned out to be quite boring actually. But I couldn’t leave it just because I was bored out of my mind, I thought to myself. So I kept doing it the best way I can which pissed others off.  Later they were kind of glad somebody else will do their job as well while they could just sit around.  I couldn’t really participate in their conversations since I wasn’t interested and when I started telling them something it was kind of annoying.  Nobody wants to hear how awesome other people’s life is. My coworkers couldn’t stand the fact that others can eat, look, dress and live differently. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different. At first I thought it was nice when patients asked me where my accent was from but three months later I hated to hear this question again. I wanted to be normal, just like everyone else

job, Uncategorized


If you want to change your life for the better you have to say no to the old crap or just take a break. This is why I love throwing things away. This ritual makes space for good stuff at least in my mind.

After working for a year I decided I needed a break. Fortunately my sister announced she was getting married to everyone including her fiancee. All of us were surprised as it was a pretty short notice. Anyway, I got the tickets and took it as an excuse to leave the country for a while, first time in my life traveling abroad alone. It was much better than working my pizza job, I was excited to do something else.

‘Coming home’ was weird, feeling foreign in my own country. The awesome thing was feeling ridiculously rich buying all kind of stuff and tipping everyone. Taste of freedom…

The wedding was nice and small, it rained heavily a week before and a week after as it was early October. The bride was stoked, everything else doesn’t count. I spent 2 weeks there and came back full of beans ready for something better.

We all need a break at some point taking time to think about things that matter and throw useless stuff away.