job, learning

Special Ed

I got a chance to co-teach kids with disabilities,  that was an eye-opening experience. There were about 16 young people who had different issues. Two kids were blind, one had a Down syndrome, one girl was in a wheel chair. I was surprised to learn how their abilities differed. Some of them were really good at Math, others at PE doing the school curriculum at their own pace. I looked at them thinking,  Are they ever going to become normal? There were 3 more teachers in the classroom, I admired their skills and knowledge. When I came home that day I thought a lot about the blind girl since I spent most of the day next to her. I wanted to talk about this and that but realized that one has to see to know this kind of things. How limited your life is when you cannot see! I realized I have to stop complaining, I am able to see.

The next day I was subbing in a regular class at a different school, and you know what I thought? Those kids with disabilities were way more normal than the ‘normal’ ones. Is it evil human nature or peer pressure, I am not really sure… And one day if special ed children become ‘normal’ will they fall into temptation and turn into monkeys?

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I love my new job because it’s very educational.  Meeting other teachers is a bonus.

On my first day the topic of all the classes was Private Prisons, I wasn’t sure what subject we did so I tried to remember my years in middle school, seems like I never heard of private prisons before in my life. That day I was lucky to do the same class 5 times in a row to remember at least something in the end.

The second day I was doing art classes, not what I had expected since it was middle school in a bad neighborhood but I met a really nice teacher there and it was what made my day. By the end of the day we felt like two legendary survivors recognizing each other’s incredible talent and strength.

The third day was Friday when I substituted for an ELA teacher in another middle school. I learned what detention means. The work was over by 1.30pm and I loved it.

Every day is different now, some of them are truly awesome and it makes up for the bad ones which seem to be not as awful after all. I loved high school PE classes, after middle schoolers any normal humans are perceived as angels. This is how you learn to appreciate things, I guess.

immigration, job, Uncategorized

Doing the right thing

Why is leaving your comfort zone so damn hard? job, home or your gadget… They say that this is what we need for growth. Doing the right thing is tough even when you know exactly what it is, emotions are always in the way and I have no idea how to cope with them.

Life gets absurd because this what we make it. So many attachments to useless things, I wish I could change it. How often do you ask yourself  what really matters, setting priorities, putting important stuff first? I can tell quite honestly I don’t do it often enough. To do that you have to be smart and strong and most of us want to be weak and blonde.

Someone says the first forty years of childhood are the hardest. I totally agree with that. I feel like I am still six years old looking at the world with my eyes wide open.  This is something about me you either love or hate, can you pretend well enough to be someone else leaving your true self behind?

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Just TRY

While substitute teaching I meet all kind of people, it’s a new class and a new location every day. My colleagues are all kind of folks, some of them are young and broke, others are established professionals with money and families. But we are all in the same boat, no one has any clue what they want to do next. It’s kind of sad lots of us still think we have no choice, it’s not true unless you believe it. Fear is the greatest moving force in peoples’ life and it is not okay. Most of the things we do we do out of fear, there are exceptions of course and if this is the case I am truly happy for you.

Some of us get a job just for the sake of getting a job, just because we need to pay rent and buy groceries. I understand that, we can’t all live under the bridge eating free food offered. But on the other hand, five years down the road we still work the job we hate to make a paycheck, feeling miserable most of the time, getting ridiculously drunk every Friday night to escape the sad reality. Let’s face it, we all have to make it work somehow. It’s okay if you tried and failed, maybe you tried multiple times and still failed. But if you never even tried to make YOUR life better… You should start today!

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Job interview

Job interviews are fun, I am sure you know what I am talking about, in the course of six weeks I had about 12. Strangely enough some employers sound like You don’t want this job.  Why even bother making a face-to-face encounter to make sure I really don’t want it? I feel like we are blessed to have Skype these days which is a much easier way to break this message through. I am sorry I sound so bitter, I wish I could be less emotional about it all. The thing that I don’t get is that you have to brag about how awesome you are but when you actually do it, they fear you are overqualified and proactive in this life, so you probably don’t need this job anyway.

Staffing agencies are a waste of time in my experience, job fairs are for those who doesn’t know how to use Internet. I know it works for others, not for me unfortunately. Interview questions are funny.

Why do you want to work for this company? I am frustrated to hear this one again and again. I thought it is obvious, they need a person to fill the position, I need a job to make a living. Do I have to be sweet saying, I’ve been dreaming of joining your company for years? I tried that, looks like they wanted to hear something else. Well, live and learn I guess…

job, Uncategorized


Finding a job of your dream is not easy but you have to try. If you think about it on average we spend a third of our lives at work, let alone those guys who easily spend a half. For an obvious reason most of them hate it so much they can’t express, at this point I usually ask myself, Do I want to be one of them?

So far my job search wasn’t as successful as I wanted it to be but I have learned a lot while doing it. I asked many people for advice and some of them suggested I should lie. I don’t think it’s really effective since one has to remember all the lies they ever said or wrote. I have pretty good memory I have to admit but nothing like remembering every single story I ever made up to keep a conversation going.

So lying does not really work for me. But you can argue saying, it’s just a make-believe, not even that but a slight exaggeration or understatement.  You can go with that as long as you are comfortable. We all approach things differently and it’s fine.

I am pretty optimistic about it all though, I know there is someone wanting to hire a qualified and honest person who is also an immigrant willing to make it work no matter what.

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Saying no to your old job is tough when you are not sure the new one will be better. But how much longer can you put up with that crap?

In my case saying no was hard because it was the first job with benefits. But you know what when your supervisor is trying to invade your privacy in the bathroom, this should be it. I was so astonished that it happened to me I did not know what to do. It was Friday and I didn’t feel all that hot as my nose was bleeding and I had period. I took a couple of hours to think things over and shoot her an email with two weeks’ notice. Yes, it was her and she was trying to punish me for hiding in the bathroom instead of answering the phone. Well, I worked all kind of crappy jobs but never experienced such an attitude. In my pizza place I used to deal with Arabic guys and white Americans covered in tattoos smoking weed at work but they were never rude to me. Is it because they were all men? While in hospital the team  was exclusively female. I am not a sexist but this is the conclusion I came to. I do prefer to work with guys, they will punch you in the face but never stab you in the back really. I want to thank all the men I ever worked with, you guys rock.